Ellie Goulding’s gym Instagrams are definitely fodder for envious lurking while chewing on carrot sticks on the couch. But while Goulding makes her workouts look easy, exercise is completely necessary for the “On My Mind” singer. In an interview Well + Good, she opened up about her terrible bouts of anxiety, and how her intense visits to the gym help subside them.
Goulding revealed that her panic attacks began just as her first hit, “Lights,” started gaining traction in 2010.
“My new life as a pop star certainly wasn’t as glamorous as all my friends from home thought,” she told the website. “Secretly, I was really struggling physically and emotionally.”
As she started performing more and more, the anxiety got worse, she explained, stemming from an insecurity about her ability to sing.
“I think part of what sparked my panic attacks was not feeling confident enough to believe in myself,” she said. “I was scared I wasn’t as good of a singer as everyone thought I was. And as the stakes grew, I was afraid of letting everyone, including myself, down.”